Treating Yourself With Kindness

I’m back, Beauties!

I’ve been gone for a few months! Did you miss me? Come on, you can admit it! 🙂

I know I’ve missed all of you, and I have so much to share!  And while I’m the eternal optimist, the updates aren’t all super cheery. Sidenote: this blog is 110% real. No fluff. No BS. Just an honest, authentic and vulnerable post. Buckle up.

In my experience, a new season often brings with it a new set of ups and downs. Recently, I’ve been extra hard on myself…and we all know the inner LB perfectionist is tough on the daily. Maybe it’s the impending “another year older” birthday that just passed, or the physical stresses (not going to harp on it, but let me harp on the weight gain, unwelcomed gray hairs and the dreaded C word…cellulite!). Seriously though, I have bruises all over my legs and booty because I’ve been using the Fascia Blaster like a mad woman! And because of all my recent insecurities, I’ve been working out like a maniac. Thank God for Lagree Fitness and Soul Cycle, they’ve been my saving grace. Sigh. Sorry guys, I had to vent. Thanks for bearing with me!

The haze of insecurity was blinding, my Beauties.  Even though I know that age brings wisdom, I have been furiously fighting the realization that I’m in fact getting older. Yes, even though I KNOW that our true beauty comes from within, it’s been a real challenge to stop beating up on my supposed “imperfections.” But why? What happened to me, Beauties?

Here’s a theory my beloved therapist had — and it hit me like a ton of bricks. He said, “You’re not being kind to yourself.”

Oooooof!

My response to his simple yet eye-opening statement was, “I’m not sure I ever have been. How do I even begin to do that?”

I immediately burst into mascara riddled tears, because I felt so guilty about treating myself like an enemy, like a bully, like a terrible friend. I am well aware that I grew up in an industry that placed great focus on external beauty, and it’s difficult as a has-been beauty queen not to hold myself to a very high standard. STILL! I have to be realistic with myself and “unlearn” the constant critiques. Enough was finally enough for me.

Have you ever taken years on end to learn the same lesson over and over, until you become sick and tired and finally decided to make a shift? I hope my gushing about this slump helps shed light on the fact that we’re all given challenges to walk with through life. Some we master in a day, others take years of repeat offenses until we finally lock it up and overcome!

I think it’s easy to get caught up in the noise of this world. The social media, the tabloids, the commercials and the constant comparisons that lead to thinking everyone has a perfect life aside from us. I want to challenge myself and all of you, Beauties, to do better. To do better by each other, and by our own beautiful selves! And it starts by wanting better.

Desire is the start to a great momentum called change, but without desire (which personally came from a low moment, which is suddenly looking much brighter!) there is no true momentum for change. Who wants to be focused on all the things that are wrong, when if we just look we can spot all that is beautifully right?! Speaking of desire, mine is to always be in the light. And while the light may be a bit dimmer than usual, I’m intent on fighting to shine bright like a diamond! (Any RiRi fans out there? Sorry, I had to!)

Let’s hold each other accountable, my Beauties! Let’s be positive and real reminders for one another to constantly strive to be better, and gentle with ourselves in the process.

Here are some tips for the process….

Tips to treat yourself with kindness:

1. Focus on the GOOD! No matter what. Something bad happened? I’m sorry, that’s rough, I feel for you, but can you point out what good came from it? Even if it helped you to realize your boundaries, what not to do, or how to better handle a situation. Can you see the light?
2. Go at least one day without saying something negative about yourself! [BONUS POINTS for any Beauties who are able to compliment themselves daily.] There’s a lot of wonderful research about self-affirmations. Even if you don’t believe it at first, tell yourself, “you’re strong, you’re beautiful, you’re on the right track, you’re loved!”
3. Do something for YOU! Whether it’s taking a 15 minute power nap, a walk to smell the roses, a sweaty session at the gym, a manicure or massage to pamper yourself [insert you favorite activity here]!, i.e -gym, nails, massage. We all know my inner glamour puss would head straight for the nail salon 🙂
4. Focus on gratitude! You are where your thoughts are. So be somewhere positive.
5. Connect to your higher power and turn your fear, worry and anxiety over to that force. What’s this mean? What’s that look like? (Stay tuned for my next blog on exactly how I connect, and I welcome your tips and tricks!)

Let’s work through this together, Beauties! We are bold on our own, but we are way braver when we stand together. And we are stronger when we know the solution, and are determined to always be a better version of ourselves.

So, what’s stopping you from shining your brightest light? Comment below and let’s find solutions together! I missed you all and look forward to a beautiful dialogue in the comment section below!

XOXO,